Wednesday, December 10, 2003
C'est l'Anarchie qui Regnera
Interestingly enough, (or painfully enough, you can decide) I was talking on mess with an old friend a few nights ago. Exciting or what? Anyways, the person added someone to our conversation. They told me that the person had just added them and didn't know who it was. It just so happened that the person's name was something along the lines of "does any1 wanna cyber wit me, just shot!!1" .
Now, let's be honest. I'm a very thoughtful, and obviously sensitive person. I sensed this person's needs and knew they needed to have the shit kicked out of them.
My first instincts were to make fun of their name and how they couldn't hold down the shift key for long enough in order to have the third exclamation mark announcing their demise into the ranks of low-society. The shift key, please. There are two of them, and if you're lucky, there's one right below your left pinky. Oh and if you're really lucky, (and odds are you own what is called a ps2 keyboard, in fact, even if you didn't: I've never in my life seen a desktop keyboard without two shift keys), there just might be that same key right below your right pinky! Also, take a good look at their name. "any1". Please. Do I even have to explain?
Secondly, their name included "just shot!!1", which, having a typo in your display can only mean one thing. You know that you mispelt it for what we could call an "effect". Or, in this case, the word "shout" was mispelt so that the loser would look younger, perhaps say 12?
Anyways, the conversation went like this.
Me : "Oh you're cool. I just love it when 37y/o's pose as 13y/o's on chat."
He : "I'm only 12."
Me : "Then I suppose your one "available" hand must have slipped while typing "anyone" as you took a break from masturbating to internet porn?"
Brief pause whilst the "he is typing a message..." message appeared and then dissapeared.
Me : "No? Nothing?"
He : "I guess you're just one of those tough kids who think they know everything?"
Me : "I guess you're just one of those sexual predators who thinks they can have anything they want?"
He : "Don't try to be someone you're not you dumb little bastard."
Me : "I'm going to put my foot so far up your post-menstrual pussy that the broken condom from last night will be lost forever."
He has left the conversation.
Any guesses as to how many programming languages this guy knows? 27? 31? Does he speak in html? "yes, hi, semi-colon, open parenthesis, point, border equals zero... I'd like a cheeseburger, extra MSG, supersized, swimming in oil, just the way I like it." This reminds me of a time in Quebec when I asked Jason if he could tell me how to say something in xml... He pouted and then punched ("punched") me. Regardless, the walls of society are crumbling down around us. Where there was once order, anarchy has taken its place. There are people all around us who would love to see it happen. At least allow yourself to put these people in their place. Before it's too late an we all die terrible, terrible deaths. Actually, no don't bother. The sun is a harbinger of doom anyways.
Now, let's be honest. I'm a very thoughtful, and obviously sensitive person. I sensed this person's needs and knew they needed to have the shit kicked out of them.
My first instincts were to make fun of their name and how they couldn't hold down the shift key for long enough in order to have the third exclamation mark announcing their demise into the ranks of low-society. The shift key, please. There are two of them, and if you're lucky, there's one right below your left pinky. Oh and if you're really lucky, (and odds are you own what is called a ps2 keyboard, in fact, even if you didn't: I've never in my life seen a desktop keyboard without two shift keys), there just might be that same key right below your right pinky! Also, take a good look at their name. "any1". Please. Do I even have to explain?
Secondly, their name included "just shot!!1", which, having a typo in your display can only mean one thing. You know that you mispelt it for what we could call an "effect". Or, in this case, the word "shout" was mispelt so that the loser would look younger, perhaps say 12?
Anyways, the conversation went like this.
Me : "Oh you're cool. I just love it when 37y/o's pose as 13y/o's on chat."
He : "I'm only 12."
Me : "Then I suppose your one "available" hand must have slipped while typing "anyone" as you took a break from masturbating to internet porn?"
Brief pause whilst the "he is typing a message..." message appeared and then dissapeared.
Me : "No? Nothing?"
He : "I guess you're just one of those tough kids who think they know everything?"
Me : "I guess you're just one of those sexual predators who thinks they can have anything they want?"
He : "Don't try to be someone you're not you dumb little bastard."
Me : "I'm going to put my foot so far up your post-menstrual pussy that the broken condom from last night will be lost forever."
He has left the conversation.
Any guesses as to how many programming languages this guy knows? 27? 31? Does he speak in html? "yes, hi, semi-colon, open parenthesis, point, border equals zero... I'd like a cheeseburger, extra MSG, supersized, swimming in oil, just the way I like it." This reminds me of a time in Quebec when I asked Jason if he could tell me how to say something in xml... He pouted and then punched ("punched") me. Regardless, the walls of society are crumbling down around us. Where there was once order, anarchy has taken its place. There are people all around us who would love to see it happen. At least allow yourself to put these people in their place. Before it's too late an we all die terrible, terrible deaths. Actually, no don't bother. The sun is a harbinger of doom anyways.
